Sunday, December 20, 2015

moms | stop judging each other



The definition of the word “Mom”, as told by the Urban Dictionary, is as follows:


The woman who loves you unconditionally from birth, the one who puts her kids before herself, and the one you can always count on above everyone else.

This definition does not read:

The woman who loves you unconditionally from birth, the one who puts her kids before herself, and the one you can always count on above everyone else…but only if she gave birth naturally/had an epidural, breastfed/formula fed, used disposable diapers/used cloth diapers, and so on and so forth.

Why are we, as mothers, judging other mothers so harshly? You, as a mother, understand first and foremost how difficult being a mother can be. Why are we making it even harder by throwing our opinions like blades at other mothers?

If you had a natural labor, good for you.
If you had an epidural, good for you.
If you had a cesarean, good for you.

We all gave birth to a beautiful baby. You are no less of a mother no matter how it happened.

If you breastfeed, good for you.
If you pump and feed your baby breastmilk, good for you.
If you formula feed, good for you.
If you do a mix of all three, good for you.

You are feeding your baby and that means you are being a good mother.

If you breastfeed in public, good for you.
If you don’t feel comfortable breastfeeding in public, good for you.
If you breastfeed covered up in public, good for you.
If you pump before you go out and bottle feed your baby in public, good for you.
If you give your baby formula in a bottle in public, good for you.

You are feeding your baby and that means you are being a good mother.

If you use disposable diapers, good for you.
If you use cloth diapers, good for you.

If you have something covering up that baby’s bottom, then you are doing just fine.

If you co-sleep with your baby, good for you.
If your baby sleeps in your room in their own space, good for you.
If your baby sleeps in their crib in their own room, good for you.

You are doing what is right for your family, and that’s okay.

This list could seriously go on and on... and on and on.
Some mothers are physically not able to breastfeed, for one reason or another. Some babies don’t sleep if they are in the same bed as their parents; some babies don’t sleep if they aren’t in the same bed as their parents. Some moms have to go back to work and pump to feed their baby. Some parents can’t afford disposable diapers. Some mothers had to get an epidural for medical reasons; some mothers had to get a cesearen for medical reasons; some mothers just simply wanted an epidural.

And it’s none of your darn business. 
You are no better or no less than a mother for any of these reasons (and more).

It really is just as simple as this:

Moms, stop judging each other. Your family = your decision. Not your family = not your decision.

Every time you feel a judgment coming on, take a deep breath, and transform that judgment into love because we all could use a little more love as we do the most difficult and beautiful job in the world.

{Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgement you pronounce, you will be judged, and with the measure you use it, will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, “Let me take the speck out of your eye”, when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye. -Matthew 7:1-5.}

xoxo, Brandi

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